Thursday, February 14, 2013 9:02 AM | permalink | comment

Its been one and a half month since I'm here.
I'm been working at fairpirce for already a month.
Another one and a half month I'm so gonna start my poly life.
Many things happened within the one and the half month.
My sister came back. And she left. It was not even a month.
I've never welcomed her back. The day when she came back I was working.
But yet I said goodbye to her twice. Twice the awful feeling.
The first time I didn't felt any tears in my eyes.
The second time I did.
I looked at my parents. I knew I had to hold it back.
I'm no longer young like a kid. My parents aren't so giant to me anymore.
I'm grown-up. And they aged.
They can't literally take care of me anymore. Now its my turn. All on my own.

She taught me the most precious thing in life.
In the past, I got upset easily over small things. Perhaps just because I was disincluded among my group of friends. Or because I felt like an outcast among the others. But after all these, I found out that no matter how bad my day was, it would be easily gone at the sight of reaching home and seeing my family. Friends come and leave. But family won't.

Another thing I learnt was independence. From young, I was really timid and shy and probably a coward. I don't dare to speak up in public or to strangers. I can't even go to a restaurant and order something by myself. When I meet someone new, I would just say hi and then keep quiet. I panic at the sight of little things. Don't dare to approach. Don't dare to do things alone. Don't dare to ask. Reliance. It kills me but that's all I had.

But I now I kicked people's ass. I exposed myself to the public, selling mandarin oranges, dealing with the most difficult customers--Aunties. I chatted with random people and strangers. I've learnt how to keep my feelings in check. I've learnt how to present my outgoing-ness and friendly-ness to others, no matter how quiet my nature was.

Now, when I go restaurants and shops, I approach and pester the salesperson/service-providers, the other way around.

I actually don't notice all these till the people around me told me.
Change.

Perhaps her leaving made me stronger.
And I hope I can continue growing.
Optimism? Probably. Or Probably not.